18

I think I could say for the first time in my life, that I didn't regret what happened while I was 18. I never told anyone who he is, but yesterday I just did and I'm glad I did. Sharing with people gives you perspectives and now I look at it in a totally different way.

People could look for years and never felt what I have felt once. She said she'd love to feel it the way I did and I think perhaps it wasn't such a bad thing after all. To feel, that's what being human is all about.

I don't think I'll ever find such perfect person. I've been in denial every time but I guess I always knew, secretly =)

But I'm not looking anyway. When I thought I could've accepted people into my heart (almost, but not yet), his heart is divided. Some said I should be mad, (hell people wonder why I'm not freaking out or worse, crushed after what's happened) but I guess I can't be mad because I've already cared for him, as a friend.

Let it finds me, the way it did before. I might want to feel it once again, perhaps or maybe not. If someone's worth it, then maybe it will happen. But for now, I'm just so looking forward to next semester where I won't be seeing him. (Not that I don't have his number or Facebook or YM ;P)


These past few days have hurt me a bit and also lifted me in every way possible and I ♥ it =)