I'd like my old self back, please?

All this while of fighting, denying. I'm just tired. Thought I'd never care, yet I'm starting to feel. Could it be karma again, trying to prove to me that I 'm wrong, right from the very beginning?

My comfort's been shattered. I knew it a few months ago. Something I realized: trivial to some maybe, but to me it's something. If I haven't noticed it in the first place, would it be so? No feelings, no attachments, I'm so used to them. I miss them..

I want to go back to the way I was. At least, the way I was inside. It doesn't matter whether it's wrong or not. I'm choosing to deny the signs.

I want my old self back.

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Final Week

Time flies by so quickly. I can't believe it's already the final week of the semester!

I did my best for the two tests this week, FOE and Counselling. Foe was tough but Counselling was pretty direct and easy, unless you don't read :-P

I had to do a presentation on Black Beauty for Literature class on Tuesday. I stumbled a bit; grasping for words to express what I had in mind but it was okay. Hence, t'was the last presentation I did for the semester.. It's a bit melancholic. I know haha

I got these cute accessories from a sale they were having at the music faculty. Suki desu~

The stupid pair of slippers got me in pain for a whole day. My feet had blisters because of it so I couldn't walk properly especially since it kept rubbing onto my skin and made the pain worse. I had switched footwear with a nice friend. Luckily, she's wearing socks so it won't hurt her.

A funny thing happened on Tuesday. One of my friend turned up at the faculty and I noticed how familiar she looked before I realized that we both had a very similar outfit on. She's even wearing a t-shirt with the exact same picture on it as mine haha. So we were twins for the day :-)

I had been dancing a lot this week. Considering my almost obsolete talent in dancing, I wouldn't want to mess the performance for everyone haha. So I got to practice!

The 'music square'. One could find music students lingering about the place :-P

I had a tour around sec 17; joining my friends as they looked for a house to rent. Our chances of securing a place at the college (hostel) for next semester are pretty much as slim as my thigh would never get, so we had to opt for renting huhu. But I'm glad I don't have to since I could drive from home, or get driven :-P

Took some pictures to kill time while waiting inside a building. This is a view inside the large main campus

We had a replacement class on Saturday so I drove to the faculty. We went through few hours of presentations and then Dr. M gave us what we had ultimately came for, which were firsthand tips for the upcoming paper. Bad news: I have a lot to cover!

xde motif (a picture of no purpose)

Right after compiling our essay reports after class, I went to Aeon. I didn't buy anything I wasn't supposed to buy, which was extremely good of me hahah. I looked for some stationary and other stuff, and then dropped by at some stores near my house. I got a bit distracted here since everything were god damn cheap and I just had to buy a few new clothes. I haven't had them for a while so I just couldn't resist lol :-P

I bought three pieces of cardigan, a long t-shirt, a dress and a pencil case haha. All for less than a hundred. What a bargain :-D

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I was once a butterfly

I was once a butterfly
Freely fluttering by
flowers and honey

Until time came by
Had me bid goodbye
to dear wings

I'm no longer fluttering
by flowers or honey
But crawling
Through stones and ivy

Yet, I'm still a butterfly
Only without dear wings
But I can still fly
with my dreams

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First Time Car Accident

I was driving home with a full stomach after attending a friend's Raya open house. It was the first time I went to her house and I was ever so glad that I had my GPS navigator. She provided us with a warm welcome despite her looking quiet tired. There were so many people at her house so I bet she's exhausted. Some of my friends were there including those I hadn't seen for quiet some time. It's cool.

The food were temptingly delicious and I can't believe I ate so much. I just love the Sarawak Cake. It's always been my favourite

Anyway, it was around 6.00pm or something and I was driving in Klang area. I stopped at the red light before I felt something. I thought something's wrong with the car since it went down just a few days ago. But, as I turned around I realized that a car at the back'd bumped into my car. I had panic moments since it was my first time dealing with the situation despite it not being my fault. But the Chinese guy was a gentleman I must say. He could just run off, but he didn't. There're minor scratches and I'm glad.

I went to Ethos's final meeting at night. It's a society I'd been involving myself with this semester. We discussed on activities that we did as well as things we planned for next time. The best part's that there're food; pizzas of different varieties, fried noodles, KFC's chickens, beverages, etc. Gosh, I'm so glad I joined it (not because of the food) :-P

Conclusively, I gained a lot of weight today huhu -_-

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A Week in My Life 3

Despite my constant denial, I've been perhaps slightly hoping that something'd happen and this week, it did. It'd made me learn something. I'm confused, but I'm really happy :-P

I won't spill the details so I'm gonna take a look at what I'd been doing this week besides day dreaming hoho

As usual, I got two tests this time around: Counseling and Literature. Some of my times were occupied by constant flipping of the book despite my mind which remained an empty vessel.

read.. read

This was taken while some music students were having their practice in class. A friend told me I could stick around and watch them practice. So, I was the only non-music student around. Glad their lecturer's cool with it :-P

Music's one of the three choices I had considered after I graduated high school. Though I'm happy where I'm at now, at times I do wish I'd taken music instead :-P

How awesome it is when you get to chat, play instruments and work on music in class! It's a totally different experience than just staring at slides and hearing lectures like in most of my classes.

I broke a record on Monday. I spent the night reading the whole unabridged version of Black Beauty up until the last three chapters. I had to do it since I had to finish a presentation for Tuesday's morning class. I was trying so hard to avoid dozing off and it was close to hell until I discovered I'd been a victim of a false alarm. We came the next morning only to find out that we don't need to present. Now that's hell! >_<

I'm confused of this happiness...

I was having fun presenting in Computer class. I did slides on tornado with quizzes and all. I think I kinda like presenting, somehow :-P

The library's effing cold

I had a queer Thursday morning. Since I need to avoid traffic jam, I'm always early to arrive at the faculty (freaking early actually ) -_- Nobody's usually around when I come but this time the TESL square was full by around 7.50-ish a.m. It's a miracle to see the seniors coming to the fac this early and it turned out they had their final exam for third language today. Figured hahah

The other group did an amazing job for their drama production on Thursday night. The first one was Andre's Mother. I didn't cry (I rarely cry haha) but it was really sad.

The bride looked angelic


The next one was The Sandbox. We had a good laugh for this one. It's effing funny. Grandpa & grandma; the younger version rock!! LOL

Both performances were superb!

I also got to see some senior's final drama practice. Guess what, I'm the 'dayang'! haha. They needed an extra so one of them asked me to take part and I said okay lol

A good thing about doing drama is that you get to see the other side of people; the more open and expressive side. They were so into character and the one who played the devil's seriously scary.

I needed to practice more because I was so stiff. It's official: I'm never born to be a traditional dancer :-P

Note2Self: Dance, dance , dance and loose weight! Gosh I'd lost a kilogram and then I regained it back, damn!

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A Week in My Life 2

This week is filled with the best and the worst things.

I had a test on Tuesday, so my Monday was typically spent worrying about the test and flipping through the book, without actually getting anything read ha ha (￣▽￣) Nothing much happened on Monday except, due to some handy circumstances which made the car available, I got to drive! Yeah~ (call me too excited, because I was) This was my first week of having my own transportation when in Shah Alam and I was so thrilled. Yay again~ ^-^

We had a meeting at night and this turned out to be the wrong room. The chairs and tables looked a mess

Got a few more tickets left to sell. They were for a Movie Circle event we're organizing.

Since I was too occupied promoting tickets, I couldn't help but didn't get to study much for the test (lame excuses a.k.a. poyo punye alasan) :-P Anyway, it was another period of disaster like last week's tests. I honestly don't care much about other subjects, but this one was Computer... damn! I wanna score this so badly~ >_<

Our promotional poster for the movie event. We're showing 'Gadoh', a controversial, independent movie which portrays racism the way it's happening here. And by the way it's happening, I mean it's banned in theatres. So, you can pretty much get how the dialogues're like: 100% non-filtered. The characters're convincing and not fake like in some mainstream films.

The hall moments before guest's arrival. Quiet a few tickets were sold and a number of people came including our friends, some seniors and juniors. Some who got the tickets didn't show up though, mainly those from the Music Faculty. They did look excited when they bought the tickets, wonder why :-P

The car broke down on Wednesday night and that's not the bad news. The bad news was; it's my fault >_< I had a meeting at the faculty as my friends and I were helping with preparations for the Dean's List Award Ceremony on Friday. The meeting was finished late at night and most people had gone back when I realized I couldn't start the car. Things got sorted out fortunately (huge thanks to certain people) and my mom ended up driving the car all the way home.

The faculty looked creepy at night. The thought of getting stranded here wasn't much of a pleasant idea

I knew it's all karma. Some people might not believe it, but I've experienced it much too often to not notice nor convinced. Although this time it's a different situation with another lesson, I got the point. I'm sorry for being prejudice.

I was in a pretty weird mood after the drama on previous night that I didn't really feel while I was in class. I kept thinking of things and the afternoon went by. The car was sent for service and my brother had his MUET test that day. As night arrived, my mood had gotten better. There's another meeting and I used the car again, but this time, I was super careful haha :-P (lest bannana fruiting twice, eh)

My friends getting awed by something on the tree. What is it you asked? A bee hive! Yikes~ Luckily they called someone to remove it or else the bees might threaten our favourite spot

We had to do some tedious jobs for the Dean's Award event. While our hands were tied with scissors and papers, we enjoyed ourselves playing a bunch of songs, some were alien to me. We also watched the performers, wearing colourful traditional outfits, practiced their dance routine. But, we're just goofing around most of the time and it's fun.

An annoying thing happened on Thursday night. Out of all the many times that the computer decided to suddenly shut down, this just had to be the night that it couldn't be turned back on, no matter what I tried. It's ironic that it happened right as I was thinking of going to sleep after I'd finally finished with the assignments. Turned out I couldn't since I had to redo the whole presentation and I ended up crashing on my bed at about 4 o'clock. -_- sigh~

Friday was a blast though. After getting frustrated over the stupid computer, I had quiet a fun during FOE's presentation. I was ever so grateful that I didn't feel as much tired since I only got 2 hours of sleep =_=

The hall where the Dean's List Award ceremony took place. It's the same hall where I took the test for MUET (great convertible hall, huh) :-P

Out of the many days where the sky was clear on evening, there just had to be rain that day and to make things worse, a black-out! Imagine everyone inside the hall were like "why is it suddenly dark ehh??" Gaargh

Thank God the event went on even with the sudden change of plan. We did get to eat at the end of the ceremony when all the guests'd already left. I got to say, I've been to better caterers before :-P

Well, I guess bad things happened but it didn't matter since good things're there too. In fact, as I'm writing this, I just had a nice, full meal after attending a Raya Banquet organized by my neighbourhood committe. On the other hand, I've also gained weight. So you see, good thing and bad thing happened in balance haha :-P

I hope next week will be more relaxing, but I doubt it'll be so, since there's gonna be another 2 tests. 2 tests!! >_<

Note2self: GANBATTE!!~ (Exceptionally happy for some particular nice things not mentioned :-P)

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Rocking the GPS Device

I had a blast driving around town today. There's a few hours to go before I could eat since I was fasting, so, I decided to kill some time driving. I had to replace 12 days of fasting on the last Ramadhan. But, it's a good way to detoxify and I kinda enjoy it :-P

I got to test the GPS Navigation device that my mom bought not so recently. It was still neatly placed in the box since she never actually use it while driving -_-"

The device looks quiet similar with the one Danny Choo used while he was in Los Angeles. It's the same brand! haha

It's such a cute device and it's really helpful. I tried to mess with it and took a detour here and there just to see if it could handle it. The female voice from the device kept going "recalculating" but it always got back on the right track in a matter of seconds. Cool!

I passed through Bukit Tinggi, my favourite area. Sorry, no photo here but maybe I'll try and upload some later. It's a pretty, newly established city and I love looking at the houses there.

Shops lining Jalan Tengku Kelana. Little India is situated around here. This is a good place to look for saree or punjhabi dresses, Indian foods and accessories. It's not a place to be around during Deepavali, however, since it'll be too crowded with shopping celebrants

I was driving around with no purpose, stopping by at Carrefour before heading back home and got caught in a massive traffic jam for about an hour, I think 0_o"

The traffic in Klang is real bad especially during peak hours (in which when I happened to be on the road today). I hope our frustration would end sooner as the construction of the new bridge is still on its way towards the finish line

Got bored so started taking pictures while inside the car :-P

Motif? kehiijauan haha

cepat, cepat...

...ketiadaan motif

Well, I needed to get away from FOE's assigment anyway. It was really boring and I didn't even go to my aunt's open house today because well, I was fasting, plus I was too worried that I wouldn't be able to finish the research. Damn!

I took the wrong line and had to use a different route. It was near The Sultan Abdul Aziz Shah Royal Gallery, Klang. Hope I could give it a visit sometimes.

Nice architecture

The upcoming semester break is gonna be a blast! I finally get to use the car and I couldn't get lost with Garmin~ :-D

BTW, here's an interesting link if you'd like to buy the device in Malaysia: MyGPSTalk.

Have fun!

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A Week In My Life 1

I think I'll be doing posts like this from now on. So much things happened and so many things I've forgotten. Perhaps it's a good idea to write them to keep track of my life.

This week has been pretty exhausting. I got three deadlines for assigments and presentation plus a test. Since I hadn't had a good sleep for three days, the result were natural smokey eyes (or eye bags as some might call them) :-P

My horrified expression as I looked into the mirror and noticed the eye bags. I forgot to draw the glasses though :-P My eyes were irritated so couldn't wear the contacts.

They looked really bad and I was trying to cover it up with eyeliner and foundation but then it got smudged and guess what, it tripled the effect of the smokey eyes ha ha. I got stared at by some group of curious people as I walked down the stairs to the ladies. It was pretty embarrassing (-_-)

Note to self: Eyeliner can betray you!

My CTU presentation was a disaster, like most of my classmates. We were supposed to present in Malay, but unfortunately, all that came out was 'bahasa rojak' or mixed up language. I think mine was a fusion of Malay with some English and Malay-nized words with a few pauses here and there trying to come out with the right Malay translation of words like 'to value something', etc.

I guess it's a proof of how second language acquisition could interfere with first language (don't mind the superfluous terms, I had nights doing Linguistic paper so now my brain is like linguistic, linguistic, linguistic ha ha -_-). Hey, I could include it in my future Linguistic research!

I had tours at 5 high schools around Shah Alam: SMK Sec. 2, 7, 9, 16, and 18. They were actually for the purpose of our team's research, but then since we were denied access (a not-so-long story but malas nak cite), we ended up spending our time looking around and taking pictures instead (like a group of excited tourists) ha ha.

A fancy school with it's own broadcasting team. One of my friend's an ex-student here. Makes me wonder if I wouldn't be much of a 'kaki ponteng' kid if my school had looked more like this than a bunch of cemented blocks haha (excuses hah!) :-P

Saw the cutest cat ever in the Guard's Station at one of the schools. Wish we could kidnap and rear it in our college hahah

Nice view around the school

Another school we got to visit. This one looked more like a typical school in Malaysia :-P

My foot still hurts from the walking and the injury I got on the first night of Raya (again, malas nak cite) :-P At least we managed to distribute some questionnaires on the second day of our 'tours'.

We even went to JPNS a.k.a. Jabatan Pelajaran Negeri Selangor at Shah Alam. This is the waiting area in front of the counters. Looks like an open cafe

Stopped at Sec. 2 and saw this. A typical Malaysian attitude of hiding rubbish away. Poor tree -_-

I took a test for Counselling paper on Friday morning and it was a disaster as well. I was like, what the heck. I can't recall half the things on the questions from the notes given. So, now I'm the antonym of 'so alive' (￣▽￣)

Nevertheless, I had a blast at a friend's open house after the test. She's very generous to pick us up from Mawar (our college) to her house in TTDI. So many friends came and it was a fun memory. Her mom's cooking were awesome and the Raya cookies were the best!

~yum yum~ There were these chocolate cookies that were soo scrumptiously delicious. I couldn't stop eating them and the next thing I knew, my friend was like, "Wonder who loves the cookies so much" and I noticed that the cookie jar was half empty :-P

Thanks so much, S! :-D

I've been passing through a lot of expensive properties around Shah Alam while I was traveling inside the car (my friend's car, to be precise :-P). The houses / villas / bungalows look like it's gonna take me my whole life to actually buy one, if I'm lucky enough LOL. Wonder how life's like for these super rich people.

Overall, this first week of lectures since Raya break was, fun! I just hope one thing would happen, and I'm not gonna tell what :-P

Note2self: Watch your diet!

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