I'd like my old self back, please?

All this while of fighting, denying. I'm just tired. Thought I'd never care, yet I'm starting to feel. Could it be karma again, trying to prove to me that I 'm wrong, right from the very beginning?

My comfort's been shattered. I knew it a few months ago. Something I realized: trivial to some maybe, but to me it's something. If I haven't noticed it in the first place, would it be so? No feelings, no attachments, I'm so used to them. I miss them..

I want to go back to the way I was. At least, the way I was inside. It doesn't matter whether it's wrong or not. I'm choosing to deny the signs.

I want my old self back.