Away

I have moved to a new account and this includes Google Friend Connect, I won't be updating this blog again nor monitoring any comments. 20. New start. Sayonara, mixvanilla.blogspot.com ^^

I'll give my current blog url if u ask, thanks =)

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ばか

きみの馬鹿
そんなこと。。
これから、止まれないね
止まれないだ！

大丈夫。。
大丈夫。。
大丈夫。。

:'-|

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As I play Boston by Augustana

I made this video a while back for some of the nicest people in my world. I just felt like posting it here so please ignore. It's bad for sensitive hearing =P



I was kinda sad at the time and the song was like an escapism, sort of. It makes me remember of once upon a time ago, of a little kid who played the piano; fingers feeling the keys, ears succumbing to the melody, body was moved in rhythm, heart filled with passion and eyes shedding tears.

When she's sad she'd play it and all would be okay (Well not literally haha). But that's how I was like when I was a kid; so passionate and so free-spirited (and so twisted too =P). I want to be that once again =)

This one was uploaded using my barely existing YouTube account. I only signed up so that I could subscribe to my favourite YouTubers; Smosh, etc. Well, I do have some videos uploaded there. It was funny seeing them again lol

Yeah, if anyone's interested for the sheet music, feel free to ask me. I wish I could say that I played this one by ears but they're getting kinda rusty lately. I need to practice more.

I've been freaking busy this holiday, like always. Break is the time when I'd do all the stuff that I've been wanting to do, which has gotten postponed for so long that they're now all piled up waiting for me to divulge in them one by one =D

I'm working on something just now and I'm so tired. Tomorow I might drive to PWTC or should I just take the public transport? But I really want to drive pfft -_- We'll see.

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Grant my wish

If only life were simple, and I could have all my wishes granted by just blowing on candles, I'd wish for two things right now.

Life's not easy as FaceBook but I'd like it if there's an 'unlike' button, somewhere. I'm not sure if I'd press it, but it bugs me that it's missing. I wish I hadn't click the 'like' button by accident on the first place

I want to be lighter too. Get rid of excess burden and be free, as free as feathers. Can I reach it before twenty?

Ganbatte ne!

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They didn't notice??

You know sometimes there's a moment in life where you think you were something for most of your life but then you realize that the only few persons who think that you're that is only you and well, your mom maybe.

I just found out that one of my best friend in the whole wide world didn't think that I was that. Can you believe it? I exhibited all the signs and believe me, I'd got all the symptoms bad but she simply brushed it off as not that. Not that? Well, the symptoms is no longer strong these days, but I guess my ego is slightly hurt.

Maybe I'm not that good at portraying that but still.. It's cool and I still am that, a part of me and I like that

And yeah, I'm not gonna tell what that is =)

（－＿＿－"）ｙ ピース~

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Exam

Lately it occured to me that every time I finished answering a paper in an exam hall, I'm always left with one worry. No, it's not whether my answers in the exam sheet were the same with what's at the bottomm of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs pyramid on the textbook, although I did worry about that one but that was while I was answering, not after I finished the whole paper, but this one was something else. I'm always afraid for the examiner.

As I look back at all my answers initially written with the neatest handwritings at the front as they gradually turned into the worst barely readable lines, I was stroked with terror. What if the examiner can't read my writings? That's when I'll begin to reach for my pen to recopy all of my answers into more neatly handwritings on a new piece of answer sheet when I would realize that there's no time left and whoever is marking my paper would just have to make the best out of those handwritings. Well, if they could actually make out any words from them. Even I was repulsed by how bad they were. I couldn't even finished checking my answer because I could't stand my own handwritings which is why whenever people asked me whether I checked my answer I always say I didn't manage to and they thought it was because of time constraint.

What's worst was that the handwriting was not the only problem. A more annoying problem for the examiner would be, well, it starts with an 'r' and ends with an 's'. R-U-L-E-S. As if having to go through my bad handwritings wasn't bad enough that they also have to tolerate the mistakes that even an eleven years old won't make. When I'm inside the exam hall, it was like, I'm against every silly little rules about punctuation, grammar, and spelling! Yes, spelling. What kind of a first year university student spells 'then' as 'than'? Plus whenever I begin answering a paper, I always hesitate whether to write it in the past tense or present tense. So I usually start with present tense and all the way through they would revert to past tense and then go back to the future or the present. I suck seriously.

I don't remember since when I've been developing these problems or annoying habits of making silly mistakes during exam. I'm always such a perfectionist like when I'm drawing I would take a lot of time to revise and then revise my drawing until they were perfect before scanning them into the computer. But in exam hall, you don't really have the time to perfect your work, or answer so maybe I should try to write spontaneously, which is exactly what I'm doing.

Yes, ladies ad gentlemen, the point of me writing this annoying, pointless post to be posted on my blog where you shall be reading it is to practice my writing. I need to be able to write spontaneously, with less mistakes. Although, I do doubt it would actually improve my handwrtings since I'm not actually writing using my hand but rather typing the words out but I guess it would help atleast my problem with 'rules'. So have fun guys =P

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さよなら, ね

十八歳の時で、あたしは恋を初めて感じる

新しい気持ち
変な気持ち
素敵な気持ち
分からないのきもち　

でも、彼はあたしの運命じゃないかな
そんなこと、分かっていた

それでも
涙と流れて行くは
どうして？

:'-(

There are things I could only express in that language, things I don't want to be known, things that break my heart.. but I'll survive

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Story About Him

I heard him said
How he was
Slightly cocky they said
But I just think he's cool

He told me stories
of his funny habits
I know his style
And his story complements
The way I see him

Finding out about him
Makes me feel glad
It's still interesting

In a different way
He's still interesting

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Fired Up!

I just need to say...
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY~

So many things coming up, good things, great things, awesome things XD I'm really, really excited and fired up XD

After all the not-so-good things, the farewell, the heartbreak, everything's falling into places. I'm so glad XD

And now, I need to get back into practice. I haven't given my birthday wish yet =( but I want to sing a song and I've got to get this one right =D

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Hyper

Can't believe it's actually started. The break! The long awaited 8 weeks of freaking lots of time and money(?) and car and friends and ♥

As I packed up all the stuff and trashes that's been accumulated throughout the semester I felt a tinge of weird feelings, like when you were anticipating a sort of excitement, the feeling you get right before an overwhelming gush of euphoria XD I'm going crazy, I know hahaha

Looking back, I came to learn a lot of things about friends, family, myself and maybe a few others. Screw all the books and here comes Japanese and Music next semester and before that, a long holiday XD About the only thing I'm dreading now is Kesat but I really don't wanna spoil the mood now so let's focus on what I shall do tomorow XD

I just got home actually =P Gosh, I think I'm never home lately. But my friends are going back soon so we gotta take this chance to hang out as much as we can XD

And all the others are back this holiday! XD Love you guys, Miss you guys ♥

I'm so excited I can't hardly contain it XD

p/s: ♥ you so much, mom X)

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Okay, I did cry lol

I cried a lot in fact, considering the fact that I never let myself cry when I'm sad, let alone let anyone see it or admit that I cried because of someone. I was driving again, and it was night and it all seemed gloomy on the road. Then, there was an accident which distracted me from crying. Well, I'm not involved in it but I sure hope whoever was on that badly, dilapidated motorcycle was, well, alive and recovering. There's just no way that one could walk out from that unscratched.

But a friend really lifted my spirit afterwards. We talked, we hugged and we hope. I know next semester's going to be a fresh start =)

My car got tailed while on the way back home. So much for me being cocky but my mom was right from the start. I guess girl driving alone at night is kinda risky. I should put on some disguise later on, borrow my bro's jacket and put on a hat, then I'll be good to go =D

I think it was karma again. I hate those stupid guys anyway. Next time I should learn how to loose a tailing car.

It was an experience although not a lucky one unfortunately. I can't wait for exam to be over so I can start my life again lol. That sounded wrong but I guess that's just the way I feel. I kinda miss talking to someone but well, we can't stay close friends with everyone especially after whatever the hell happened. I just want a fresh start and find my lost way this holiday hahaha

And for that I need money!
What's money got to do with finding your lost way?
Sorry can't tell ya ;-P

Wallet, please be magically filled with cash =P

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I shan't cry tomorow, promise

Well, not tomorrow exactly. It's 3.38am in the morning, so I guess it's Friday, already. "Tower's leaving", as how he would say. It's sick and it's pathetic, but human are powerless. I'm powerless.

You shall be a nice memory, 18. Perhaps I'll see you again in a different light, I hope so.



I've been driving lately, late at night, going out and having fun. My mom's obviously not happy with it. Sometimes I wish I were a boy. Thanks for making life easy for a girl to live her life.

A huge part of me has been lost at sea, never again to be found, I assume. But I can still gather little bits of pieces that's been dropped somewhere along the journey. I hope I'll find myself again. I want to.

Wish me luck

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...

As I read the blog entry, I felt a sudden lump in my chest. It was a heavy one, whose weight I knew would sink until it went down to that place. That special place, deep in one of those many chambers of my heart which I thought has finally been locked away for good but turns out it wasn't. I still have the keys and how tempting it is to just go back and have a look at treasures which has so long been cherished.

I knew I should stay away from anything that's potentially gloomy during this time of the month, I could get really emotional and sensitive which is really far-fetched from my usual hyper mode, but I just happen to stumble upon them. Those words, like mirrors of my own feelings. I'm so stupid and pathetic.

And then I thought of another recent things that has happened. Why do I feel sad about it too? Again, I'm stupid

Let this phase be over. I know I'll feel better after this. But right now, I just feel like crying and crying to my heart's content or until I fall asleep, perhaps. It'd be nice to have something to cheer me up, pull me out of this suffocating misery and let me have a good laugh for once.

And ice cream won't help unfortunately, thanks to my upset stomach =(

Monster

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18

I think I could say for the first time in my life, that I didn't regret what happened while I was 18. I never told anyone who he is, but yesterday I just did and I'm glad I did. Sharing with people gives you perspectives and now I look at it in a totally different way.

People could look for years and never felt what I have felt once. She said she'd love to feel it the way I did and I think perhaps it wasn't such a bad thing after all. To feel, that's what being human is all about.

I don't think I'll ever find such perfect person. I've been in denial every time but I guess I always knew, secretly =)

But I'm not looking anyway. When I thought I could've accepted people into my heart (almost, but not yet), his heart is divided. Some said I should be mad, (hell people wonder why I'm not freaking out or worse, crushed after what's happened) but I guess I can't be mad because I've already cared for him, as a friend.

Let it finds me, the way it did before. I might want to feel it once again, perhaps or maybe not. If someone's worth it, then maybe it will happen. But for now, I'm just so looking forward to next semester where I won't be seeing him. (Not that I don't have his number or Facebook or YM ;P)


These past few days have hurt me a bit and also lifted me in every way possible and I ♥ it =)

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You think silence is better?

Keeping everything bottled up inside, making people keep wondering and assuming. If that's what you wish, then perhaps let it be. I'm tired of guessing. I know you're not gonna tell me anything anyway.

Did you for once thought of how people feel when you left them hanging, waiting for you to make a choice, as if you were entitled to? And what if you were to choose the other person? Or the person choose you? What would happen to the other one? Have you ever thought of that? And you said you're different. *Sigh~

Hope? Is there hope anymore, fake or not, with all these secrets and avoidings? What do you think?

You won't loose me by showing the truth but you will by hiding them. I'm not here to judge anyone, I just want to understand. You've got nothing to loose now, don't you think so?

It's good to share, it's good to open up, although it would hurt, you know I would listen.

I'm not angree or hurt, honestly. But please, try to understand that if you don't tell people, then people won't understand you. What's there to hope, people shall never know.

*sigh~

"You won't loose me as a friend
And I don't want to loose you either"

=)

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Possibilities

Perhaps I was thinking
of stupid possibilities
Even if they were for brief moments
Those split seconds of
Innocent hopes

I hate to admit
That it did hurt a bit
But I don't blame anyone
Other than my own stupidity

Were you sincere?
When you said those words
Were you truthful?
When you said there's no one
Were you serious?
When you ask the question

No you weren't
I've got my answer
I was right to doubt you

Nobody's perfect
And I'm full of flaws
And I'm okay with accepting others'
Truth is all I ask
And it would have made all the difference
But that's no longer possible, I guess

And if you're reading this
Please know that I'm not blaming you
You won't loose me as a friend
And I don't want to loose you either
And that's how it's going to be
Always
.

=)



Glad I got them cleared off my head. The possibilities are gone and now it's a fresh start. Goodluck~ =)

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I'm glad it won't let me say yes

If there wasn't such a thick wall enclosing my heart, I would've probably got carried away and got hurt in the end. I almost, haven't I? Maybe it does hurt a bit, but I've learnt my lesson

I'm not stupid and I'm glad for it. I'm not blaming anyone either for each person has his own reasons and circumstances. In my case, I realized I just wanted the feeling I've felt once and that has kept me safe. Do I really?

That perfect person okay maybe not that perfect -__-"

Oh gosh did I just sounded retarded? Okay, I can't do this. That person's not gonna be near for a VERY long time, forever perhaps, which is the best for me. God, let it out of my mind~

And to those whom have gotten their hearts broken this week (and I know quiet a few) please stay strong, let the memory be a bittersweet lesson and hope be your guidance
=)

And um, ganbatte for exam ^^"

p/s: aww, the cute posts on FB ♥

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miss miss miss

I'm really missing
those times
those free times
those things
those passions
I want them back
I want them back

the songs of life
are too fast paced
pause for while
let me catch the glimpse of myself

the me I've become
I hate like it

the things I've felt
I hate like it

where have I gone?

i wish i never knew
i wish i never was
please, give me time
let me have me back

I can't return to everything
and I don't want to
just a bit would be enough

just so i could say
it's me again
it's ME
always


note2myself: everything you were and everything you are, let's have fun this break. Just, LET'S

p/s: this is just me crapping due to the amount of assigments and the amount of things I've been missing for months. I really really really miss it and him and her and them and me. I need to get those daily dose of passion =(


LOL

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Warai

Today I did something which was stupid. I cried and cried and cried and after that I laughed at myself for crying haha. Don't be such a baby =P

The annoying part was the aftermath of it. My eyes got very dry. Couldn't see while wearing the contacts ^^" Moral of the story: let's not be girly next time

By the way, I remembered I got something yesterday.




It was nicely wrapped. The doll has bells inside. Kawaiii

Sensei gave it as a gift. Suteki na hito yo~ I don't know about Japanese custom but I really want to give him something in return. Ideas?

I took the pictures with Satio's camera. You could adjust the megapixels. It's awesome if you get the focus correct. It's fully touchscreen which was kinda annoying at first but I'm getting more used to it. Now I'm having an impulse to touch on the screen of non-touchscreen cellphones lol

I felt happier after talking and seeing the pictures =P Sankyu ne, minna

And um, tomorrow's the day for EIF. I hope everything will run smoothly ^^"

Ganbatte~

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ほほえみ

Anone
Sono iu no koto ga
kiitai onegai

'Daijoubu desu ka?'

ikkai dake oshiete mou ii no

antatachi ne, doushite?
atashi ii'nja nai ka
oshiete

'Hohoemi o tsuzukete ne'
'nakanakute ne'

Mou tsukarechatta
Sonna jibun no oshiete koto

yamete

mou ii yo
ima made
ii yo

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Motif

• me: "Erm but I'm not sure if I can make it"


• her: "But he wants you there"


• me: lol as if, this is sort-of-a voluntary work meaning anyone who's free should participate. Apparently I'm not."What about others?"


• her: "But you have to come also etc etc.."


• me: "I'll try" You can't make me this way

And I didn't. I really did try but couldn't btw

• her: "Why didn't you come?"


• me: "Got my text? It was etc. etc"


• her: "Did u tell him?"


• me: "Err no"


• her: "Well, you should tell him"


• me: "Em" I guess?? No way others who didn't make it have to explain to this dude too??

And a friend told me. Okay then I get it now. And I thought she was trying to make my life uneasy. Fortunately that wasn't the case ^^;

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♪

Like a strange arrangements
The black and white
Slowly turn familiar

The staffs are merry
The notes are dancing
observe the melody

Hey you
let's make a song
the composer is us
chords of major and minor
all in harmony


Let's make the rhythm slow
yet the beats alive
with sincerity
always

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What's wrong?

I woke up and realized it was 5 in the morning. Did I fell asleep again? Damn
The notes were lying there, untouched. Great!

The presentation was a mess
The test was quiet okay
But something's bothering me. Nanika?

The weather was hot and humid. Nothing new there
The ice cream failed me. That's new
My favourite dish tasted blunt. Wonder why?
I did only say hi. Was I hoping for more?

U.R.U.S.A.I

My friend cried. Why do I feel like crying too?
She's the one with problemS and me? Spoiled and ungrateful. I'm aware of that, thank you very much!

See? I know but I can't help it. The sky was grey and the tesl square was empty. (It was actually FAR from deserted, even packed, somehow) I cried silently, putting up a smile in front of everybody. I don't feel like eating either. What's wrong?

Were they tears or simply water from the shower that flew down my cheeks, I wasn't sure. What's wrong with me today? Stop being whiny.... I was contemplating, remembering and then it came to me. It was THAT!

hahaha

There's nothing I can do about it besides ranting here I guess -__-"

Moral of the story: You just can't help it sometimes. Sigh~

Let's think about some happy stuff, shall I? e.g. the Satio ♥ ♥

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12am Luck

Do you believe in Zodiac signs?

The twins

At 12am today, a stroke of luck hit me. It came in a text message. Unexpected and wholly a surprise, I was left thinking, recalling. If it were once upon a time ago, I would have been euphoric, anxious, ineffably overjoyed. Now, I think I'm comfortable, perhaps a bit cautious but I don't want to get into it anymore. I'd like to stay neutral please. We're friends and I'm happy (ne?)

Later on, I bought the Satio. It wasn't cheap (hell it was expensive!) but I made up my mind to have it anyway. There were doubts but the sleek design, gorgeous functions and impressive camera quickly decided for me. I've been weighing during the past few days between a cool new guitar or the Satio. I had to be careful of what I spend money on but somehow, I had my way into buying it today. Perhaps I'll tell more about it on my next entry. In the mean time, I'm super thrilled to get the cell phone on Monday. Gomen ne Wallet~

Sometime later, I caught a glimpse on my friend's horoscope reading for the day and felt strangely compelled to read it. Now this is the whole reason I wrote this entry for. He's a gemini, like me and here's what it said:

Whether you keep a detailed, itemized budget or just keep it all jumbled in your head, you need to think through your spending habits a bit more carefully today. It shouldn't take too long.

* Compatibility: Taurus
* Mood: Cautious
* Lucky Color: Purple
* Lucky Number: 38
* Lucky Time of Day: 12am

The stuff about spending is strangely true but the 12am luck is real. I guess it's much more than I could ever tell hahaha Could such be a mere coincidence?

I'm not so sure anymore ^^"

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Ureshii

This weekend has been awesome. It's been so long since I've had this much fun. My weekdays were packed with assignments, projects and tests that I barely had time to eat. I fell sick for a day because of that lol. I was on the road for the whole Thursday and Friday and my energy was literally drained for that two days. But I found out something about myself, I could be pretty calm even when I'm out on the road, alone, driving and apparently lost in some unknown territory hahaha. Did I forget to add that I hadn't got a GPS navigator with me and had a deadline to catch at that moment? =P

So for Saturday and Sunday, I went and do whatever I wanted to do. I so needed some time for my own amusement XD

First stop: Eva 2.0. on Saturday. It was a pretty cool movie about a world set sometime in a future where evangelions battle against the angels for the sake of humanity. Typical of mecha genre, the heavy burden lies on the hands of teenagers lol. I haven't watched the anime series but I still enjoyed it. The angles were far, far scarier than the freakiest Hollows from Bleach. The funniest thing was how the guys inside the hall (they're definitely otaku) reacted to the fanservice part. Heck, there're lots of fanservice in the movie lol

We went to eat pizza afterwards. We met the most enthusiastic waiter, he smiled a little almost too cheerfully and seemed always excited to take our orders, deliveries and amendments lol. He'd totally get our votes for the employee of the month. I ate so many things. Now I'm certain that my tastebud doesn't go well with carbonara or pasta or anything of that sort.

I also met Lerorin for the first time that day. He's the one who told me about the movie. My first impresion was "OMG this guy is super tall and he's only 18!" We talked a little and it was awkward because he was shy and so did his friends lol.

Sunday's plan was to go and watch Alice in Wonderland at Times Square. Due to certain circumstances, I'd thought of cancelling it but now I'm glad I didn't. I had the best of time with S and cute junior N hahaha.

We went to buy some snacks at 7-Eleven before the movie started. I forgot to hide them in my bag and the guards would't allow me in unless I put the food inside the special cupboard (as if I would). I hate orders, especially ridiculous ones and somehow I managed to wriggle myself out of this one. I made an excuse to go out again with the snacks and then asked some random strangers to hide and bring the snacks inside for me LOL The guard was satisfied to confirm that I wasn't hiding the snacks inside my bag when he checked it the second time I entered hahahah.
Thanks strangers, you two rocks!

Alice in Wonderland is an amazing movie. The storyline, the characters, the costumes; the whole thing was just fantastic. The one who did the voice acting for the caterpillar is undoubtedly the same guy who play Snape in Harry Potter. The 3D experience made the movie even better. Oh I'm so in love with the cutey, spinning, levitating cat XD I was talking about how cute the disappearing cat was when I notice that N herself had disappeared from beside me. I looked down and noticed that she was sprawled on the floor, apparently didn't quiet notice the raised steps inside the hall and fell down. Poor N hahaha =P

We ate at KFC afterwards. It seemed TS was filled with emo people this time around. The shop assistant, the KFC staff, the GSC employee, they just all need to cheer up a bit lol

Our journey back home was tiring. We were quiet sleepy but had to stand since there were no seat available (we didn't expect so either). We bid farewell to Nad (hope to see you lurking at TESL square again hoho) and wait for our bus. Stupid things happened that we had to wait even longer. But then it wasn't that tiresome when we could chat and gossip lol

Talking and laughing and having fun the whole time. I'm all cheered up for next week =D Yossh~

note2self: happy, happy, happy, ano hito kara no desu ka? ;)

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Complexity

It's strange
to linger on something
which brings happiness
but open doors
to doubts
to have little jealousy
over dear affection
have u heard of
unselfish love?

A dreamcatcher
might perhaps
sift those dreams
away
But until then,
It stays as almost,
But not quiet yet

You're not over

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=_="

It seems that my gastritis is back again this week. You're supposed to eat properly so you'll feel better. But you see, you can't really do that when you feel like throwing up every time you swallow something. Plus, it seems like I'm getting heartburn every freaking hour. Chikusho!

Apparently I could take like small bits and pieces of non-hunger-satisfying food. Thank god I have my ice cream :-P

Someone owes me my favourite hoho =P

Stupid medicine and stupid fever (￣▽￣)

Try and look at the bright side here, this is a good way to loose weight, especially after a week of holiday (^o^)/

Note2self: baffled, again. 気持ちが分からない *sigh~

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Beach and Sand

I'm in mid-semester break. It's already Monday and I've got a few days left to finish the huge piles of assignment and read for the upcoming tests. I just got back from a trip at the beach and frankly, I'm all blurry.

The trip was wonderful. Looking at the night sky through the veranda and I saw a few glittering stars. The fresh sea breeze and the feel of it on my hair, my two feet stepping on the hot and cold sand and the rushing water all around me. No word would describe them.

a dream came true

It's the best family day we've had. Thanks so much to my aunties for sponsoring this trip ♥ We were divided into three apartments. Ours had a faulty air conditioning and so we had to move into another one which is a lot cooler. So yeah, we got a higher priced apartment with a cheaper rate hohoho

Since it was Chinese New Year (and Valentines Day ;-P) there were free performances at the beach. We played games together and had the best of fun frolicking in the water. My cousin and uncles taught us a bit on how to swim. My brother seemed a better learner than I was. I could only come as far as holding my breathe under water lol

The best part of this trip was during the big dinner. We booked a hall at another resort for this event and apparently they got better food. There were karaoke and I had to sing too. Thank god I dragged my brother into singing with me hoho

Perhaps this whole trip wouldn't have happened if we haven't got grandma with us. The only one we still have since the others had passed away. Although she could no longer remember us, we still hope she had fun.

We love you :)

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Let Me

I smile
It wasn't as bright inside
but I keep the glow
like always

Change was new
Yet novelty ran out
I'm slipping away
The other's fading
Someone else's coming
Why do I cheated on me?

I'd like to have that, please
Oh, on second thought, no thanks
Then again, maybe it'd do
But it won't?

Mornings were bright
I just wish they'd get brighter
as they reach the night

I'll wait
and I'll keep smiling
perhaps it'll shine through
if I just keep the glow
all the way

let me

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Only You

I see you
making your way through
the crowds around you
guys laughing besides you
she smiling at you
Yet it seems to me
there's only you

One time you walked past me
Our eyes met briefly
I smiled nervously
You smiled back at me
How happy that made me
But your eyes turned quickly
for she's here, your one and only

There'll never be you and me
I've known that entirely
But I can't help turnin around
Each time you're around

Despite the sea of people
You're the one I hear
You're the one I see
it always seems to me
there's only you

I try to keep you away
Making myself busy each day
My heart's a giveaway
To anyone that could take it to repair
Though it's still closed anyway
Since I fall for you that day

Looking at she and you
Is making me wish it's you
That's having this feeling
That's fallen in love with me
Oh, I can't help this agony

There'll never be you and me
I've known that entirely
But I can't help turnin around
Each time you're around

Despite the sea of people
You're the one I hear
You're the one I see
it always seems to me
there's only you

I wrote this one out of the blue. Perhaps I might try and come up with a nice melody for it =P

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The Inside of Me, Like literally

Last night the pain in my stomach got really bad. I couldn't lie down without feeling as if something was tugging me from the inside which was painful AND annoying~ >_< I was hoping at that moment that this morning's visit to the medical centre would solve the problem haha. Well, it kinda did, and I'm glad for it even though I went through hell during the scope procedure.

I never knew exactly what was scope procedure but I knew that it wasn't gonna be comfortable and I was right. I was luckily asleep during the whole first round but unfortunately, I had to go for another. This time, without the sleeping injection O_o

Imagine I was conscious the whole time they were putting the one-inch-thick tube attached to a camera inside my mouth, down my throat and into my stomach. SHOOT! It's THE most uncomfortable feeling in the world and it hurt >_< I'm so relieved when the doc finally pulled the tube out but now my throat kinda hurt because I was fighting a bit when the tube was put inside me haha. Well, I couldn't help it, it's reflex LOL I'm so never gonna do this again, ever! haha

But I'm glad that the whole experience's over and there's nothing wrong with me haha. The medication appears to be working and I'm so happy that I can eat again, at least without suffering from a really bad stomachache each time afterwards. I even got a souvenir from the whole thing: a video of the inside of my stomach haha XD The video was surprisingly, very clear. I'm really glad I was asleep during the first procedure when I watched it. They pinched the lining and then it bleed and so they got the blood sample. Ouwch!

Oh, on a side note, a funny thing happened to me this week haha. There was a guy I've met from a while ago, since last semester and he's my junior. I heard that he was asking about me from friends which I thought was friendly. Well, I'm kinda friends with the juniors and talked to some of them quiet often and I did talk to him one time, only last semester haha. He was walking in front of me with a weird expression on his face until I realized why it was so when I suddenly had the urge to check my cellphone. He asked me out. I was like, LOL

p/s: What's with the brother-sister trend nowadays hahaha

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Crazy First Week

I'm on my second semester~ Yay~ It feels like years since I came here during Asasi. Aww I miss those times. It's strange that I don't feel much like a new semester. In fact, I think I'm already so used to the campus that it doesn't make much different that I have to come there for class everyday now that the break's over XD

This first week was CRAZY! I never expected to already be getting involved in things and projects on the first couple of days. It's exciting because this year, I'm on a mission to try out new things which is exactly where I'm heading lol

I'm gonna be working on 'English is Fun', a program for primary school students. There's also gonna be another workshop-sort of activity I'll be taking part in organizing. This one's part of my course project. It's gonna be a lot of work these upcoming weeks, and I hope I'm prepared >_< Ganbatte!

However, the best part of this week is seeing my friends back~ XD I think most of them haven't changed a lot except that this year, everyone's started renting outside. Some of the guys and girls from our batch live in the same neighbourhood near the campus. It's only a walking distance from the faculty which is convenient for them. On the other hand, some of them fortunately got a place at the hostels. Me? I'm staying at my place as usual ;)

Some got a new style this year, while others got a new attitude. Some of the seniors were wearing their new, longer hairstyle which were interesting haha.

There're already banners and flyers all over the faculty on the first week promoting Whoa Willow, a fund-raising theatrical performance organized and produced by TESL students. They've got a good publicity going on appearing on 8TV Quickie, etc. I've already bought tickets to go this Sunday. Can't wait =D

There're some assignments needed to be taken care of this week (already!) but they're just simple ones haha. I also went to Pusat Zakat at Uitm and Cawangan Zakat Selangor at the mosque to take care of something.

A little problem worries me however. I hope I don't have to change groupings so my schedules would stay as it is. There were some sort of dramas going on amongst my coursemates because of this issue. Ergh, I wished they'd just keep thing as it is and not let everyone troubled by this any longer. It's not like we did anything wrong either -_-

So far, the lecturers for this semester look nice. Some are familiar, while some are, well, not familiar haha. I've never seen Mr. Black before I think (He told us to call him like that), and neither have I previously known most of my lecturers. I may have seen them going about the TESL square or heard some words about them from the seniors but I wish they're nice and fun!

Oh, and I just got back from the medical centre haha. It was my stomach. It's been aching for the past months and it's been getting too annoying lately so I guess it's time to have it checked out. I'm gonna have to go for the scope procedure tomorrow. Honestly, putting a tube attached to a camera inside my stomach really doesn't sound very comfortable, or even sane~ >_< I wish this pain would go away!

I hope I can keep blogging for next week and the next next week. There's no photos this time though haha. I dropped my cellphone two times this week. Thank God it's still working. I wonder whether it's a sign that I should buy myself a new one? haha

Note2Self: Can't believe I gained so much weight this week. Go jog or something! XD
And, I don't feel like I'm totally over it. Then again, was I ever? =P

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Goodbye, Good Times

So it’s been 5 days since we entered 2010. It’s a new decade for all and it was especially significant for me. I’m leaving my teenage years and this year, I shall be turning 20.

The long semester break had just ended yesterday. I had the most awesome time. Although I quiet enjoy my student life; with friends, lectures, and yes, STRESS; I’m still gonna long for the life of leisure, fun, and free time I’ve been living for the past weeks.

This photo was taken when we went to my Uncle’s house. I’ve never actually been to a paddy field before haha. We spent some time there and ate some freshly roasted fishes. It was also a fishermen’s town and we were taken to see the boats and all. It’s a new experience for me =P

bought some new shoes while I was at Sunway Pyramid with my pals. It‘s actually been quite some time since I’ve bought some new footwears. I’m not very much of a shoe person since it was hard to find the right shoes that would fit perfectly on my giant feet XD We also tried archery for the first time. I totally suck at it lol

PC Fair was held on December 6th this year. My brother and I went to look around. I was planning to look for a tablet PC or any cool laptop for me but didn’t find the right one. It was our first time going and we’ll probably come around next time if we need to look for some gadgets

I bought all these baju kurung at Jalan Tar for some very cheap prices. We actually went to SOGO first where my friends bought this really cute pair of shoes for less than RM20. It was the year-end-sale and I was like “Eh?! I so wish I hadn’t already bought so many shoes at Sunway last time” Haha But it was, nevertheless, mission accomplished. I needed to wear these every Monday and Friday at the campus so it was lucky I got to buy decent looking ones at some reasonable deals hoho XP

Thank GOD I was on a break so I could attend this year's Comic Fiesta. Check out my previous blog entry about it here. It was a super awesome event and we had a really great time

Some of the cosplayers from CF made me want to watch Ouran High School again haha. I still enjoyed it even after watching it a couple of times before. It’s definitely one of my most favourite anime of all time XD

ARENA food Court’s ABC Special. I suddenly had the craving for something cold even after spending two hours inside the freezing theatre. I was with my high school friends. One of my friends generously paid for all of our tickets haha

Sherlock holmes was amazing

I drew and then scanned it before coloring it using photoshop. I’m really bad at this and I want to learn more but it was FUN.

I think I’d improved a bit on my Japanese, especially on conjugating verbs and stuff. I wish I could’ve memorized more Kanjis though. Japanese is so much fun! Oh, and I’d found a better website for RAW mangas, Yay! Note: RAW manga means uncooked manga which refers to manga that has not been translated into another language yet from it’s original language, Japanese =P

I like some of Yui’s music. She’s got good voice and cool style. I can finally play Rolling Star on piano XD

I was indulging myself with Jane Austen’s novels this break. Imagine I’d only finished Pride and Prejudice now after all these years haha. Mansfield Park was good too. All the good novels made me miss reading so I started looking back at my old time favourite, Enid Blyton’s The Famous Five, lol. I could never be too old to read her amazing books. Not many of my friends know this, but I think I was really like George and perhaps still a bit like her =P

As you can see, this blog has got a new layout! I spent a lot of time on this and it was worth it. I wanted it to look like sketches with less straight lines, a nice header and there was also the piano graphic at the bottom which I did with photoshop as well as the animated musical notes also done with photoshop. The outermost part was the hardest part since Web 2.0 doesn’t support two background images so I used layered div instead. Painful codings -__- I loved the hover effects and the overall feel and colour. There are things which reflects myself and so I called the theme, Dream Pieces =)

Unfortunately, I didn’t get to online much during the break, especially towards the end. Streamyx was down with its constant occasional problem again but this time it was the worst. Not being able to go online was bad enough, but I was extremely frustrated since I couldn’t register for my courses. Thanks to that, I’m stuck with a terrible timetable for the whole upcoming semester >_<

Mei-chan no Shitsuji was cool~ I watched the whole series and it was sweet and fun. I miss Gokusen, Hana Kimi, One Litre of Tears, etc. More J-dramas please~ XD

Finished Code Geass season 1. Haish I’m so late. I can’t wait to see Lelouch on season 2. I hope he won’t end up the tragic hero like the awesome Kira-sama haha. Please, more seeders

All the hassles of the renovation that was going on at my house resulted in the new look of my bedroom. Now the ceiling was lower because of the attic built on top of it. But, I think it was okay and I got nothing to complain except maybe during the whole period of renovation where the couch was my bed and the living room became my lair hahaha

Spent a lot of time here, family's eating out lol. My cousins and nephews were around the state and we went to watch 'Old Dogs'. It was hell of a funny movie XD

Environmentally friendly, and kinda cute if viewed from a distance. It's one of this year's Aeon's Christmas decoration. They also had that Christmas tree made out of hundreds, or more likely thousands of plastic bottles haha. They're proudly flaunting a giant approval from Malaysia's Book of Record besides their tallest recyclable Christmas tree =D

OMG I spent a LOT on these. The clothes at BTS were so cheap. I went there twice during the break; one was on the last day of 2009. Oh, The New Year haha

So the end of 2009 marked the beginning of 2010 and the pending ending of the wonderful break lol. I haven’t watched the news, played any video games, back-up the computer, or updated my blog much for a while during the free times I had. Sadly, I also didn’t get to read more on my favourite mangas or watch more anime haha. Well, I’ll be able to do that even once the break’s over. Let’s hope the next semester’s gonna be a smooth ride XD

p/s: Let’s loose the holiday’s pounds

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